Shitty day

Dear friends
I'm writing this as I want you to know how bad I am to think that one fine day I will leave you without ask forgiveness from you.
I admit I did lots of things that hurt your feeling and maybe that's the reasons you keep a distance between us.
Well as for your acknowledgement I do hurt too. As I can't keep my mind peace.
It's bother me a lot.

I did lose lots of people too and keep trying to do my best to keep the rest I just knew well too.
I did change my behaviour and admitted it's not so easy as I knew I'm kinda changed cuz others sake not for myself and it keep bothers me too.

Outspoken is a dangerous attitude that will drag me down and that's the habit I push off the wall and just see it keep leaving me too.. Its really hard to see its leaving . 😢😟

Well to make others pleased it's not so easy as hell yeah I need to sacrifice a few things and keep sacrificing for those who doesn't even bother bout other and especially me too. 😥

Nowadays I keep forgetting few things and I knew I'm trying to keep the things in right track so no one discover my faulty but I can't. Oh I wish I'm not do it again. What I'm going to do if they knew I'm not capable to cope few multiple job. 😵😱

Hope I will get well soon. I need to be more strong and healthy too. There's a lots lot things I have to do. Bunch of it still pending and friends just want to let you know I will find you before I go.

I will even it's the last thing that I'm capable to do.

Take care. 

Happy belated birthday to me

There's nothing I can express myself rather than be grateful for these 31years old I've been lives and be here. 🐣🐤🐔.  K thanks. Haha 😅

Life must go on.

Assalamualaikum
Aku dah lama tak menaip kat sini. Its been more than a year. Well exactly four years actually.  Aku tak ingat password and mostly sebab aku terlalu sibuk dengan dunia.
Well aku tak tahu nak updated apa but then, Banyak hal yang jadi dan aku dah lepaskan banyak benda juga.

As usual aku deactivate akaun social media and just live with apa yang ada.

For updated too aku dah berhijrah tempat keje and maybe for the incoming year ahead aku akan tinggalkan KL juga. As I'm working in here and temporarily stay here too..

For the people who I left few weeks ago. Please accept it as karma. Aku bukan sengaja Tinggalkan korang. Tapi aku penat jadi manusia yang sempurna dimata korang tapi aku tak sempurna dihati aku sendiri.

Thank you for everything
Wish me all the best too

Wassalam  

Ramadhan kian berakhir II

Ramadhan lepas aku pernah taip perkara yang sama
perkara yang tiada bezanya

menguji diri dan semakin meruncing daripada biasa
balik dan cuci akal dan memori

daripada hitam mungkin ia akan jadi tak berwarna seperti selalu

lari dan lari
Ramadhan kian berakhir

atau ini yang terakhir?

tua

selamat ulangtahun tua buat diri sendiri
dah tua
jadi sila jadi waras seadanya

tak perlu bijak
hanya perlu rasional dalam apa saja

tahniah
kamu tua

senyum

hingga mati
harapnya

How to choose?

they came.
furiously
without any concern
how I feel

which one or
how to manage it
either one or none to be chosen?

either one to be let go or trying to shake it well
and adapt it until the end

so unfair

Holy Grail

".....And Baby...

It's amazing I'm in this maze with you

I just can't crack the code

One day you screaming you love me loud

The next day you're so cold

One day you here, one day you there, one day you care

You're so unfair sipping from the cup

Till it runneth over, Holy Grail..."

Vacancy

aku mahu cari kerja baru.
ada tempoh dua bulan untuk melangkah jauh dari sini.
sila tolong aku
jika mahu tolong.

terima kasih.

Demons.

aku bukan sejahat mana
aku juga bukan sebaik mana

siapa aku hanya mereka yang kenal tahu
siapa aku hanya mereka yang memahami dan mahu memahami saja tahu

aku tak mahu kau letakkan satu batu tanda selagi nyawa aku masih ada
aku tak mahu kejujuranku dinodai hanya kerana silap yang satu

jauhkan dirimu dari aku jika aku terpalit zarah dosa
letakkan aku dalam kalangan yang tak layak untuk menerima indahnya dunia
jika itu yang mampu buat kau dabik dada puas!

pieces of me

this is reality
we laugh we cry and sometimes we fart
but its real and never left anything in silence

we grew up and be whoever we are
in searching of perfect life
comfort and full of happiness
but don't ever think that sadness is hiding in somewhere

we can't see it through the clear mind
so bear in mind that its always accompany us wherever we are

hey
don't keep your head down
lift it up
think bout tomorrow
and whatever they talk
just let it passing by
never keep it and eat them
just chew some and left it on the floor
or you just swept it all

dia..

mungkin dia pergi tidak begitu lama
atau sememangnya sudah dimakan masa.

siapa yang peduli jika tanah kian menghimpit jasadnya
siapa peduli rasa itu
kerana tiada sesiapa yang rasa sama

aku
dimana aku
kian dilupa dia
kian mencari aku dimana aku yang dulu bersamanya

mereka.
dimana mereka.

sakitnya
bila dia kian dilupai

dia yang bertiga
pergi dengan tanda
diingatan yang terpatri
lama dan berbekas sampai aku mati jua

dan kini ada penggantinya
berlainan atau sama?
aku tiada jawapan lagi

Allah
kuatkan aku
dan hati mereka juga

Freedom II

dulu dan sekarang tak sama
dulu aku ligat berpuisi
menyampaikan apa aku rasa tentang mereka
mereka yang berkorban demi negara
dulu dan sekarang tak sama
dulu aku punya banyak rasa dalam jiwa
PATRIOTIK
sama sama nyanyi lagu kebangsaan setiap hari
dataran tua puluhan usia
saksi apa yang ada dalam minda

dulu dan sekarang tak sama
sekarang aku hanya mampu senyum
syukur ada ruang damai atas bumi ini
ada rasa bebas atas bumi ini
dulu dan sekarang tak sama
sekarang aku kerap gelengkan kepala
lihat manusia tak pernah puas dengan apa ada depan mata

dulu dan sekarang tak sama
tak kan sama
biar hidup semula perajurit negara
mereka yang alpa
tetap alpa dan pelupa tidak sedar!

Freedom

SELAMAT HARI MERDEKA MALAYSIA!

TAHUN KE 56

Ramadhan kian berakhir...

Ya. Ramadhan kian berakhir...
tapi aku tiada yang baik dalam hati. kasihan aku pada diri. terlalu hitam tanpa tanda hati akan pulih segera. mungkin selepas 14 hari kemudian? mungkin.
Ah. malas nak taip
pendam dan buang jauh lalu simpan dan kunci.

jangan sesekali jumpa lagi rasa ini.

tamat

Hope III

harapan

jangan biar dia terbang sendiri lagi

letak sesuatu bersama yang dinamakan usaha

lalu senyuman yang sebenar pasti akan kembali dan bersama

pulih dari segala

harap semula pulih dengan segera 

walau ia mungkin susah untuk ditunaikan

doa yang terbaik untuk hari esok

ya 

esok

senyum

dan ia kembali

insyaALLAH

Hope II

"wlupun sy tahu awk dah x mungkin anggap sy sbg kawan awk, i want to let u know 1 thing, sy sentiasa sayang awk sbg kwn sy.. i never tell this personally to any people but u r the gift from God.. other things dont matter, may love will find its way thru you.. Assalamualaikum.."

Dear Taheri, I called you. I texted you. but you didnt give any response..

I just want you to know, honestly...I missed you. really missing you. 

or maybe...

everything has changed?

Hope

yeah. we need the both wings to fly. so keep giving hope on others who need it as we generate the spirit of real Ukhwah! InsyaALLAH 

dan kongsi dari aku..."nasihat ada 3 cara, guna dengan sebaiknya bukan manipulasi caranya." - Azuraina Abdullah

Ramadhan

ok

tak nak taip banyak.

Salam Ramadhan.

OST

OST refers to Official sound track for a film, advert and others medium to show a message to other as viewers.

i love OST especially from

Alice & Wonderland create by Avril & Derek.

Alice - Avril Lavigne

the song sounds creepy and mystery to audience. love that.

 Skyfall by Adele

the song brings the spirit of love and journey of the hero to the end. double love it.

Decode by Paramore

the vampire's love story. haha

tapi tetiba lagu ni masuk carta..

one way or another!!!

heartattack?

jangan membenci
bila tak mampu melupakan
teruskan
teruskan selagi ada peluang untuk meneruskan hingga titik akhir
senyum
dan ingat Dia sentiasa ada

-dumbdeaf